my day in court

and here it is:

Manish and I arrived at 8, early by an hour, and we were 4th in line. The first three people were quickly dismissed (two speeding tix and an accident) by the pony-tailed man who seemed quite lenient. Manish steps up to him.

Scene 2:
At this same instant ,a lady who as of yet had done nothing calls me over to her. I hand her my ticket.

"Do you understand the charge against you?"

Taken aback by her cold, uncaring tone, I fumble for words. Impatient, she asks me again.

"Yes."

"How do you plead?"

"umm...I'd like to request deferred prosecution?" I stated, sans confidence.

"Go sit in the courtroom," she said. "I'll have to see if you QUALIFY."


after a bit of searching (she certainly didn't direct me toward it), I found the courtroom and sat down. Having no idea what was happening with Manish, I hoped I hadn't fucked up somehow.

Scene 1: Pony-tailed man has left Manish for 5-10 minutes. Manish doesn't know what's going on.

Scene 2: I've been alone in the courtroom for 20 minutes now. People keep streaming by the doorway, which I can see, with smiles of dismissals.

Scene 1: Pony-tailed man cannot find some forms he needs for Manish. A lawyer offers to return to his office and get them. Manish is sent into an "interrogation" room.

Scene 2: I'm no longer alone. Two other people have been relegated to the cold, unforgiving pews of the courtroom, the "pews of no return." I'm freaked out now; I had expected Manish to join me as soon as pony-tailed man realized we were both seeking deferred judgement, but alas, he is nowhere to be found. I fear he has slipped by the door unnoticed by me, another person granted ponytail's leniency.

Scene 1: Manish sits alone in the interrogation room, no idea what's going on.

Scene 2: It's 8:57. I've been sitting in the courtroom for over 45 minutes. A lady behind me asks the other man in the room what time it's going to start. "9," he says confidently. A lady walks in and sits down in the jury box.

I about die. You mean to tell me Manish got off, I'm the 21-year-old, it's my first time in court, and I have to represent myself as the first case of the day in front of a jury? You've got to be kidding me. This is a cruel joke. What the hell do I do? How do I address the judge--your honor? ma'am?

Scene 1: lawyer returns with paperwork. It's been 50 minutes. Manish signs and is done.

Scene 2: 9:15. Nothing has happened, except the courtroom is now full. Great, everyone is going to get to hear me stumble around in nervousness, not to mention hear about my dumbass open container ticket. What the hell do I do? I consider calling Manish to see where his ass is, but reconsider, afraid he may be in some serious negotiation or something.

Scene 1: Mean, cold lady (DA?) enters the courtroom. My heart sinks. This is it. "Finley?" she asks to the room.

"Yes."

"are you a student"

"yes ma'am"

she leaves the room. What the hell is going on?

Scene 2: 15 minutes later she returns, beckons me to the table on the courtroom floor. WTF?
she points to some paperwork, tells me to read and sign. I read and ask for a different program. She looks at me like I should die, says nothing, and walks out of the room. At a complete loss, I work my way back to my pew, unsure if even that's the right action.

Scene 2: 9:45, she returns, toting new paperwork. I sign, it's over. A nice lady from the program explains the Drug Educational School program that I will be required to be a part of.

New scene: Manish waited for me. We eat at Waffle House, discuss the ringer they put us through.

10:30 : I return to the courthouse with a hefty $150 I forfeit to the clerk. Fuck.

2:30 . I call the dude in charge of DES. 5 weeks, 5 classes, 3 hours each, 15 total. Starts in January. Prolly Friday afternoons, schedule not yet set. Perhaps before I return from x-mas break, which would require a change in plane tix. More money.

Thursday 3 p.m.-- the date of my "alcohol assessment" test. It will last an hour, and will determine if I might need help additional to that ordered by the court. I will also be forced to fork out another buck fifty for the classes. Can't wait.