Lions and Tigers and Sorority Girls, oh my!!!

Boys and Girls. It happened. I never thought it would. After years of going to the utmost extents to avoid it, I at last found it unavoidably in front of me, with no escape in sight.

So I did the only thing I could. That's right, I ate Mediterranean food. Spinacopada? Couscous. Some potato-ish creation. Pita bread. Baklava. I downed them all. (Loved them all, by the way).

Monumental as that may be when it comes to landmark moments in the life of DTM, it pales sadly in comparison to the kicker: I did it at a..........................wait for it.........................sorority house (Zeta). (GASP!!!)

Holy shit is right.

They were everywhere. (Of course, I had to pick Chapter night (=95% of the sisters), as well as the night of the chef's specialty -- which is one of the key factors that drew me into the lion's den (gotta rep the name) -- and with my luck, the night not a single daring male appeared to help alleviate my uniqueness.

While I hesitate to label sorority girls my mortal enemies (and I certainly know plenty who make silly the stereotype that perpetuates my "hatred"), it would be safe to say I'm not the biggest fan. Maybe I got my fill of estrogen in my three-sister-dominated childhood, but I'm a pretty harsh critic of pretty much anything sorority. So this was like venturing into enemy territory, and I'm not even sure I had on the most concealing camouflage.

But you can't judge what you don't know, and you can't know what you don't experience first-hand, so when a wonderful friend offered me this opportunity at self-betterment, I hesitantly leapt at it. You know how DTM rocks culture.

And to tell the truth, I was pleasantly surprised. Well, I wouldn't say surprised -- I was well aware of the embarrassingly false level I had built the evil empire up to (it's easy to do when you never let yourself get close to it. Hell, to go introspective for a moment, maybe it's even a defense mechanism stemming from many a sorority-girl rejection over the years........................OR NOT, but you get the point) .

So, aided by my friend from the other side (who shall remain nameless since you all know who she is anyways), I thoroughly enjoyed my glimpse into this "foreign world." And it wasn't half-bad. Sure, I recognized the things I hate about it, but as you all well know, I find things to hate in everything. That's what I do. So now I've seen rush, and I've been to a sorority house. I've talked to real, human sorority girls who I think are great, and I've witnessed the superficial she-devils I've come to despise. I've seen the natural habitat of the creatures, and I've observed some of their instinctive, and magnificently unique, behaviors.

And for it, I am a better man, and they have a (better) chance.