some movie thoughts
I am sick of this cookie cutter crap. Can we see some fucking originality? Please. Anyone? Or better yet, how bout all you assholes stop paying to go watch pure SHIT -- especially SHIT you 've already seen before.
While I believe Batman Begins should be exempt from this, all comic book movies -- yes all of them -- are horribly tired. They may be good. Fine. But let's take a damn hiatus for a few years, and then divvy them up just a little fucking farther apart next time.
Stop the "let's get as much pure action with awesome special effects" movies. There's nothing there, no acting, no plot -- and nobody seems to care. Here, let me tell you what happens. The world is about to end a different way every time. Things blow up. The end.
We can also put an end to the "machines come alive" genre. It's so played. Yet and still (and I just learned and embraced this horribly uneducated saying), NOBODY has come up with a decent explanation for how the horrible scenario actually unfolds yet. The machines always just "get hit by lighting" (the new, sad, Top Gun wannabe remake) or experience a "short" that magically alters their entire system of operation and gives them the ability to think. I'll tell you what that is -- shit. Stop paying to eat it.
No more ruining old movies. The Love Bug was good, leave it alone. And keep ugly, anorexic as hell Lindsay Lohan the hell away from the movie screen. Son of the Mask. Are you fucking kidding me? The first one wasn't even that good. Not good enough to deserve a second, that's for sure. The Longest Yard? No thanks. Sorry. Troy = Gladiator wannabe. And perhaps worst of all is the new Zathura -- which is a sad excuse for Jumanji. Wait. It is Jumanji. EXACT SAME GODDAMN MOVIE (and the inspiration for this post). I saw the preview, and I irated. But I blew a freaking casket when I saw that the writer for this atrocious new film is none other than the original Jumanji author -- what is this world coming to? We reward one writer of crap for writing more crap that EXACTLY mirrors the originial crap? Holy crap.
(now would be the time for me to write something original so I could actually stand behind my rant, but I'm too lazy and sleep sounds like a much better option.)
(oh, and Bewitched gets a total break because Will Ferrell is in it and therefore I like it, and if I like it, it can't be bad, regardless of any dogmatic statement(s) I have previously made. It's like a rule.)
posted by dantheheel at 3:31 PM
4 Comments:
I'd say I'm pretty pissed about a remake of the Bad News Bears. I'm sorry, but that's a classic movie, one of the best. And now you're trying to replace Walter Matthau, who was great in that role, with Billy Bob Thornton? The lack of originality in movies today just sucks, but nowadays it's all about $$$.
3:16 PM
That's probably why Hollywood is in its worst slump in nearly 17 years.
It's cyclical.
From Independence day in 1996 to Godzilla in 1999 it was all about the Blockbuster movie.
Then the matrix came along and made it cool to think again -- so then a movement went through Hollywood to start making movies that made sense.
But it was short-lived because just three years later, the comic book genre was at full force with Spider-Man and the Hulk (which was the 2nd worse movie I've ever seen).
Ok I said all that to say that Holywood isn't just getting by -- they are paying for it by making crap.
"Batman Begins," as you said though, doesn't belong in the comic book genre at all. It was a psychological-dark-romance-horror-movie thing.
4:18 PM
Hell yes. I am in total agreement on this one. It's been something I have been thinking about for a long time. I mean as you have said in your post, basically this whole summer is damn remakes or sequels to things that have already been made, and for the most part have not been that good. The only reason I even saw Batman Begins is because Joel wanted to hang out and it seemed like the best movie to see. I was going to boycott it just for the fact that I didn't think we needed another Batman movie. And in some ways I still believe that to be the case.
8:35 PM
go see Crash.
or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. (*not as good as Crash.)
and, i despise will ferrell. and ben stiller. and lindsay lohan.
9:15 PM
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