I don't believe in:

(these are all possible rant topics that I thought I'd condense, but I reserve the right to rant away in the future should I feel so inspired or compelled.)

sugary breakfast foods (unless consumed after the morning hours have terminated)
smoking
coffee
shaving
medical drugs (at least not to the extent most people do)
excuses
dirtying glasses by drinking water from them
paying for drinks at bars
lying
depression
Jackie Onassis sunglasses
buses
pens
Justin Gray getting hurt every game only to miraculously keep on playing (but props for broken jaw performances)
my chosen future
heavy metal
webmail (it sucks, and you should have quit using it long ago)
Bunting
vegetables
Texas
naps
cursive
salad