Rick Reilly
OMG, what a riot!!!
I don't know exactly what I was expecting from his talk tonight, but it sure wasn't an hour plus of pure comedic stand-up. That's what we got, though -- and to top it off, it was all about sports! The guy is hilarious. And he's seen every great sporting event on the planet. We all knew that. But the icing on the cake: the dude hates dook. Seriously, a lot of people say that when they come to talk here because it means the audience will actually listen, but he honestly HATES them. And thus, he has reemerged as my hero without ever having disemerged as my hero.
A few highlights:
"I hate friggen' dook. If dook was playing Iraq, I'd be there, holding up a huge sign saying, "GO IRAQ!!!"
"Seriously, what's with these American Express commercials....I mean, why don't they just fellate the guy? It's ridiculous."
"I'm not really scared of anything. Not death.....not anything. I saw Marge Schott in a lime-green teddy, and that was it for me."
"And honest to God, he's got his manhood in his hands, pissing in a Big Gulp! And he says, THIS is why they call me long John Daly. Listen, have you ever seen one of those Italian sausages that hang in the meat shops? Let me put it this way, if Barry Bonds could put some cork in it..."
"How do you stay cool on a hot day?" "Well, I just imagine an icicle in my rectum." "Ahhh, no wonder they call you Deep-pack (Chopra)."
home run calls:
"no más pelota!"
"close the shutters, granny, 'cause it's hailing horse hide!"
notes:
Reilly had total respect for Charles Barkley (me too) as an honest, INTELLIGENT person. I hate republicans, but I'd welcome Barkley in Congress (and one day, he'll be there, I promise). He knows his shit. For real.
I love his stance on 1.) Columbine. It shook our state. And it shook him. Forever. 2.) CU football. I'm not sure that Barnett is TOTALLY at fault, but you can't fire the president, chancellor, AD, and NOT fire the guy who actually should be responsible.
UPDATE: saw him drunk at He's Not, and he wasn't the nicest, but of course we had the obligatory Colorado talk. He knew GJ, and we went through some CO shit. No doubt he's a great writer (the best sportswriter of our generation?) -- I just wish I could be him. Alas, perhaps never shall we know. (i.e. let me know what you think about that in regards to my future).
posted by dantheheel at 3:04 AM
12 Comments:
He's a great writer, I read him every week in SI, and I even own his book. But here's my one problem: don't you ever get sick of just hearing him do the same old sappy sad and/or feel-good story that is about 85% of his columns. I swear I feel like I have read some of his columns before, then I just realize some are written the exact same way and all that's different is the setting of the story.
Now don't get me wrong, I love love love x 1,000 that he hates Detroit, Nebraska, Oakland, and every other rival to our state, and I can deal with him being Liberal (I feel the same way about Liberals as you do about Conservatives), but I guess that's my one quip on the subject. Great writer, but I just feel at times that he can be a little too emotional and feel-good-esque about his column.
3:52 AM
personally, I think we need all the feel-good stories we can get in journalism. In general, the press just hounds the negative and ignores the positive.
But he can be very formulaic -- and THAT is bad journalism. Still, so funny.
"I've always liked UNC. I really have. Dean Smith, what a great man. Plus, he's the only liberal head coach I've met in 31 years."
9:08 AM
also, I don't actually hate conservatives. I hate all politics. With a passion.
But, I always respect the FEW people on both sides that actually know what their beliefs are and stand by them. Which is something NO politician does.
My problem in particular with conservatives in my life is that most of them are just living off of daddy's money, and therefore ascribing to daddy's beliefs. There's nothing wrong with holding conservative ideals, but you have to have a better reason than birthright to hold them. And don't even bring up the faith argument when you fuck a different girl every week in your damn frat house.
let me stop before I get going. My problem is: 1. I know nothing about politics 2. I hate them 3. I always think I know everything and I'm smarter than everyone
and, I was moderate until George Bush the Dumber.
6:45 PM
Man, you can't leave out the best joke (at least for me) in the whole talk:
"And we'd like to thank our sponsor, LaQuinta Inn, that's spanish for 'Next To Denny's'"
8:09 PM
dammit...I agree, that's an egregious omission.
Multople times I reminded myself to add it last night....but so fade drunken thoughts from consciousness.
11:13 PM
more good ones.....
about hate mail he has received in regards to his columns:
from cheerleaders..."you know, hate mail from cheerleaders isn't all that bad. I mean, first of all you get it in pastel. And then, it's like, "You should die," with a little heart over the "i."
from Red Wings fans..."well, they are very good at writing with crayons. And blood."
from San Francisco peeps..."well, it's the whole pastel thing again..."
and one more unoriginal one about dook: "If I had a house in hell and one at dook, I'd live in hell and rent the dook one out."
12:29 AM
Bernal...i have been telling you this for years, i love Reilly and finally i found someone who likes him as well. I take Rick over Bill Simmons any day, no matter what. He's not a metro in any way, and his feel good stories are what makes him legit
12:57 AM
Yes, he is funny, he is talented, and I love how he hates a lot of the same teams I do. I don't care that he's Liberal because it's a column in SI, not The New Yorker (I respect your stance on politics and can assure I definitely am no child of money. I think my mom and dad actually used to be Democrats until I got them to switch [TISHIT]. I thank Mr. Unverferth's freshman Hon. Geog. class with showing me the difference between the two [I had no clue which party to associate myself with up to that point]and nothing else).
But finishing w/ old Rick, I just get tired of reading the same type of column that many times. To say he is formulaic is exactly the word I was looking for. But he is funny, and he is from Colorado, so I don't. He's just like an old girlfriend that wears on you after a while, only you don't get too annoyed to end things all the way, so you just stop seeing her as much for a while. That way, when you come back, so aren't quite so sick of her and can handle her easier.
Oh, and Simmons is the absolute man. My favorite sports columnist by far.
1:04 AM
And Reilly is metro.
1:05 AM
yeah dude...you're smart, and you clearly have a foundation for your beliefs. You are beyond reproach. Tha's all I ask for. I wasn't including you in my rant at all.
Reilly def uses the same template a lot. And I agree that some stories lose their luster because of it. But he's still the best around.
Simmons is good (but he lays some SERIOUS eggs), but Reilly is in a league of his own.
1:16 AM
Yeah, I know that Simmons will never be in Reilly's league - but I don't think that's what Simmons really wants. I think that what he wants is to be able to connect with his readers, to make them say "I was JUST thinking that!" or "My friends and I are like that too." I don't think he really puts himself in the league where he expects to win annual awards like Reilly. Reilly is a class act, Simmons is more the blue-collar type writer, but I love him nonetheless. I agree that some columns lack edge to them, but I love him because he's funny and I can relate and often find myself saying those two statements above. Still, I'm curious as to your take on his laying those eggs at times.
4:54 AM
Well, here's my take...Reilly shoots for the moon, so if it's crap, it's basically dull but decent.
Simmons, the common man, shoots for the water-cooler talk, so if he misses, it's pure garbage. IMO, it's too hard to constantly be in everyone else's mind. You can't be the cool guy who's filled in on everything and enlightened as to all thoughts those around him are having all the time. So when you try and fail, it sucks hardcore.
12:52 PM
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