emotion

so yeah, I want to talk about the single event that has elicited the most visible emotion in me in a long time.

Those of you that know me well know that I am far from emotional, so this is a pretty damn significant moment. And for some reason, my revolutionary catharsis has little to do with winning the NC (as would be expected), though it is, of course, indirectly related.

Still, seeing as I felt as sad and as bad as ever have when this horrendous thing occurred, I feel a compelling obligation to blog about it, even with days having elapsed since the incident.

So, on Tuesday, as Gena and I walked toward the Dean Dome to welcome our heroes home, an absolutely horrible thing happened. Directly in front of us, a man, I would estimate at 45-50 years old, experienced the terrible luck of catching his foot on one of the improvisational guardrails that line the walk down to the arena. Incredibly worse, he was holding the hand of his precious, cute, ecstatic, 7 year-old daughter at the time. What followed was a slow-motion ballet of tragedy. To make a gruesome story short, he tripped grossly, lunged forward fiercely, jerking his daughter with him, and despite a mighty struggle to maintain his balance, in the end took himself, and his innocent daughter, to the rough, harsh pavement with an audible slap. Blood quickly followed.

Without a doubt, it was one of the saddest things I've ever witnessed. Mainly because I immediately empathized with the father, as if I were one. That has to be the epitome of a father's worst nightmare.

She started howling immediately and her knee was pretty severely cut.

Of course she was mainly just shocked at what had happened. Her dad, her supposed bedrock and protector, had tripped, taking her with him, and had landed forcefully on top of her -- all unpredictable and straight out of nowhere. Right in front of me. I felt so sad. I cannot emphasize the depth of my sadness enough (maybe Gena can relate). I think that's why I'm writing. It's been awhile since I've felt like that.

His wildest conception of doom -- tenfold. Not only had his little girl been hurt, but it had been HIS fault.

And it pretty much wrecked me, too.

But it has allowed me to assert anew and with confidence that I indeed can feel (though I'd rather it not be pain and sadness) -- rare as it may be.

I felt so bad.