nothing on this earth

ruffles my feathers (what a stupid expression, btw) like shitty napkin dispensers. So basically the horribly ineffective ones that seem to litter every food establishment.

I mean, something so simple should actually work with a modicum of success, right? But no. It's excruciatingly, frustratingly hard every time. Sometimes you get one, sometimes none, sometimes 4. And the worst part for me is the feeling of it...ugh, I shudder just thinking about it. Maybe I'm a little sissy, but that dry, grating feel of trying to grasp at a napkin firmly wedged sends shudders through my spine. It's like the feeling of chalk (which I also hate). Or the gross dust I can honestly feel on the bottom of my shoes after walking through a kids playground lined with pebbles. I can feel the dust on the bottom of my shoes, through my shoes.

Maybe I'm just neurotic. Yeah, that's the ticket.